Breathe
by Jaya Korin
Summary: *slash* finished - A/L


**A/N**: Umm yeah this is a one shot I just felt like writing something so yeah... this is it... just needed some angst... well yeah and I needed to do something, for Slash Writers Weekly, so yeah. ^_^: I know I'm rather lax about updating my FF.NET account, feel free to visit my site you'll hopefully get more regular updates there if not you will here I post everything here when I finish it: MithearSidhe. 

**Breathe**  
By Jaya 

**Rated**: pgish  
**Warning**: slashy  


_Breathe - by Green Wheel _

I played a fool today

I stand here and watch you walking away from me knowing that its for what may be the last time, unable to make myself call you back even though I desperately want to. We both knew when this hopeless romance started that one day it would have to end like this. I just wish that it had lasted longer, but I guess I have no excuses since it was I that ended it not he. Part of me wonders if he would have asked me to stay if he would have acknowledged me to before this new kingdom of his or if I would have been merely a shadow on the side lines. Not that it matters any more he's not coming back.

_And I see us vanishing into the ground  
Longing for home again  
But home is a feeling I buried in you_

I knew he was right when he told me his reasons, had known from the start when I accepted this that... They would not accept him as they had me, even though I longed to tell the truth to be done with it and have him by my side no matter what. Yet even I wonder if I truly would have done it; he's saved me the trouble of having to make that choice. Though now that he's gone I have a feeling that I would have done just that, no matter what the people would have said, without him I feel so empty. I've always wandered and now that I've come to this place where I find I must put my feet down, I find that the home which I had looked to really lay within you not within these suffocating walls of stone. And now... 

_I'm alright, I'm alright  
It only hurts when I breathe  
And I can ask for things to be still again  
I can ask for you to offer the world through your eyes_

Part of me doesn't want to believe that you're actually here standing before me, asking if I'm already. _//Alright? Aye I'm alright...//_ At least I would be if I didn't have to keep breathing, knowing it can't go on like this, but I cant let you see that. It was my choice, though did I have a choice when I lost my heart to you? I could ask you for anything and part of me tells me that you would give it without question, perhaps it's something in your eyes the way you're watching me the tone of your voice--everything that is you. But I won't. I know what you would give up for me and I can not let you make that sacrifice for my own happiness, it will be better this way in the end for you.

_sing the miles in between  
But home is a feeling I buried in you  
That I buried in you_

Standing atop the city looking out across the land, I remember how I watched you leave from this very place riding away from me. I wish now that I had called you back begged you to stay, I no longer care what it would have meant if only you had stayed. Now I don't even know where you are, somewhere off with the dwarf, at least I know he will see that you are well taken care off. Perhaps someday I will stand here again and watch you ride once more into this city, and when that day comes I will not let you go so easily. I've sent messengers but I doubt any of them will find you, if only one where to... Would you head the message and come back or would you stay away for what you think is best for my sake? How can you be so sure what you think is best truly is? 

I hear them calling behind me, they want me to come back to work. Already it is what keeps me going throwing myself into that which needs to be done the re building of the city, what will make Gondor prosper once more and I will see it happen for that to is a promise that I made. As I turn to go my stomach rumbles reminding me that I can not remember the last time I ate a proper meal. At least I can be thankful that Arwen and I parted on better terms, for long I think she has suspected what I finally confided in her. From this tower I watched her to the fair maid who once held my heart and my dreams in her hands ride away to re join the people she longed for. It will be better for her this way, for I could not hold her here knowing that my heart longs for another.... I want to laugh as they ask if I am alright, but I don't it will only worry them. 

_ alright, I'm alright  
It only hurts when I breathe_

I stopped in the pass turning to look back over my shoulder at the land behind me, feeling the Dwarfs eyes on me I ignore him feasting my eyes one last time on this place. Forever will I hold this memory in my heart bitter sweet as it might be, I will remember you love remember the happy times and the dark times. Perhaps someday I will return to look upon your face though I know I could never let you see me there, or perhaps...

"Legolas?"  
I turn away from the sight with a soft sigh, "Aye?"  
"What troubles you, friend elf?"

"To think that after all has happened we can all simply go our own ways." And it was truth for the most part at least. "We have seen and done much together Gimli and now it is over."

"Be happy that we are not dead."  
"Optimism from a dwarf."

_I'm alright, I'm alright  
It only hurts when I breathe..._


End file.
